I know its been a minute since I've posted, and my life has made a COMPLETE transformation since the last time I made a post, but who I am at my core is still the same. I'm a polyamorous, pansexual, submissive, masochistic, whore, African American, witch, Goddess! And on my journey to discovering me I've learned a lot of things. I started this blog originally to talk about my journey in BDSM with my partner at the time, but I feel like I've come to a place where this blog should be more about educating others on what BDSM really is. I can tell you right now its NOT "Fifty Shades of Grey" and its not all kinky sex.
BDSM is an entire world of its own. Its a lifestyle that has so many different subcategories that it can be challenging to explain and comprehend. I want to preface this by saying that I am (and will) only speaking on aspects of this lifestyle that I know about. There are already WAY too many people out here talking about shit that they don't know about just to hear themselves talk.
Welcome to the Spiritual Side of BDSM!!!
BDSM for me is more that just the kink or sexual aspect of it. It is a relationship, a bond, a connection, an exchange of energy between two (or more people if you're into that). But, before I dive into the relational aspect of BDSM I do want to talk about the sex....
Sex is a spiritual experience. I'm going to say that again. SEX. IS. A. SPIRITUAL. EXPERIENCE! Sex is the joining together of two (or more) souls. It is the exchange of energy between those souls. Sex is such a powerful spiritual tool that can and should be used as the powerful ritualistic experience that it is. It can be giving, cleansing, healing, renewing, empowering, and on the other side it can be crushing, breaking, binding, soul sucking. Sex encompasses both the light and the dark side of energy. It is so much more than the work done to achieve an orgasm. But the mere fact that sex is an exchange of energy makes it spiritual, as spirituality is all about energy and connecting to the Divine Energy Source.
So we got that sex is spiritual, and we know that BDSM can include sex (at least for me it does); therefore BDSM is also a spiritual experience. And yes I just did the whole If A = B and A = C then B = C thing from math, but its more complex than that. For me and for a lot of people I know, BDSM was a way to embrace the Shadow or dark side. BDSM is know for being dark and deviant...kinky. Its those sexual acts that are shunned by mainstream society and religions. But for me it was a way for me to channel my Shadow self. It was how I let her come out to play, how I expressed those dark sides of me.
I am a masochist (meaning I like to receive pain) and I am also a highly intuitive empath (meaning I can feel/absorb other people's energy). My intuitive empathic abilities are my Light and my masochism is my Dark. In a session, my Dominant/Sadist is able to transfer his energy to me through inflicting pain on my physical body. As a submissive/masochist, I not only receive that energy, but I release energy of my own that is sent back to my Dom just by allowing myself to be used by him. In addition to receiving and releasing energy, I convert the energy that I receive from Him. The entire session is just a big cycle of continuous energy transfer. Sometimes that energy transfer is my Dom releasing dark energy from me, and replacing it with light energy from Him. Sometimes its me releasing dark energy from Him and giving Him my light energy. Other times we may choose to only cycle all dark or all light energy. It just depends on the needs of our energy.
Another spiritual aspect of BDSM is ascension or what most would call Dom/sub space, that high that you feel during or right after a session. That euphoria isn't just in your head. The energy that is exchanged between partner(s) actually allows for the spiritual body to leave the physical body and ascend to a higher dimension. What I love about sub space is that it can last for days or weeks at a time. Also, once you and your partner(s) have developed a really strong bond, you can help each other achieve Dom/sub space without having physical contact. The down side to this is Dom/sub drop or when your spiritual body returns to your physical body after being in Dom/sub space. This is why aftercare is heavily preached in the BDSM community because that return isn't always easy on the physical body. Your spirit is coming back with a lot more energy than it previously had and the physical body has to adjust.
I feel like right here is a good place to stop. Like I mentioned earlier, this topic has several layers to it. In my next post I want to get more into the relationship aspects of BDSM and the balance of the male and female energies. I will also talk more about the love and trust aspects and again how this all ties into spirituality.
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