Freedoms in Dominance and submission

This morning took the time to read over a few of my old posts about BDSM and my past D/s relationships, and the one thing that stuck out to me is the word FREEDOM. In all of the bondage, discipline, masochism, servitude...submission, I found freedom. It was in BSDM where I was able to get comfortable with my shadow self. The structure of the D/s relationship removed the societal judgment of the things that I enjoy, and the societal norms of what a relationship looks like. In a D/s dynamic YOU make the rules.

These rules can come in the form of a contract (either verbal or written) that all parties involve agree to. Some contracts are very detailed and cover every single thing that the parties can think of. I have seen contracts that are hundreds of pages long covering everything from bedtimes, bathroom times, exercise routines, and meals to safe words, attire, appropriate submissive behavior, and the Dominant's expectations; to very liberal verbal contracts that change as the parties see fit. BDSM contracts aren't legal or binding, but more so serve as a guide for the relationship. It lays out the expectations of all parties up front. It lets you know exactly what you are getting yourself into.

Other rules within the lifestyle come as "house" rules. These are general rules that most people within the lifestyle adhere to for the safety of all parties. These rules also speak of appropriate behavior of both Dominants and submissives either in or out of a relationship. These rules aren't used as restrictions of your freedom, but serve as a safety net for the community and the individuals within it.
But, even with house rules and the rules set forth in a contract there is a VAST amount of freedom. There is the freedom to define your relationship based on your needs, your desires, your terms; not the terms set by a society who doesn't understand you or your needs at all.

My shadow side was freed. My sexual desires were freed. My sexuality was freed. I was able to be  me and express myself freely within the protections provided by this community (and believe me there are a LOT of protections). Releasing my submissive side was critical my spiritual awakening. It showed me the spirituality in sex. It also helped me to better understand submission better than any biblical definition. Because submission is cyclical and indeed given by ALL parties involved.

The energy exchanges often provide me with a freedom from whatever it is that I am carrying. My Dominant willingly takes my burdens from me, even when I don't think that they are too much, and I do the same for Him. The energy exchanges also fuel me to do the work that I do. I am most powerful after time spent with my Dom. But, it is of grave importance that I mention here that energy exchange are to be equal. It is not always the Dominant taking energy from the submissive or vice versa (that is vampire-ism).

My D/s relationships have also given me the freedom to explore my sexuality. I no longer had to hide my sexual attraction to women, or my desire to be in a polyamorous relationship. I have been allowed to discover, and to play, and to find who I truly am as a sexual being.

My relationships have also given me the freedom to love and be loved how I need to.  I have learned how to release societal monogamous expectations of relationships. I have learned to erase the jealous thoughts and behaviors that often come with being monogamous. I have learned that it is indeed possible to love more than one person, and that neither Polyamory nor Monogamy are superior to the other. My most valuable lesson in this freedom is do not get into a relationship with more people that you can support emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially! You have to have enough resources to go around, and you have to know how to divide those resources among your partner(s). Not every partner will need an equal amount of everything. This is indeed a test of balance.

I found that in something that seems so restrictive, there is truly the freedom that I had spent the majority of my life searching for. I may have left the chains on my body, but I removed them from my mind, and THAT is the greatest freedom of all.

I've Been A "Hoe" Since 1994

"Hoe" is relative though because I don't subscribe to 3D thinking. But for the sake of this post I'll indulge its use.

No I didn't "lose my virginity" or give a nigga access to my sanctuary in 1994. That didn't happen until 1996. What I gave him access to was something of equal value, my heart. I fell in love with a Creole speaking nigga from the lower 9th Ward of New Orleans back in the 7th grade. I don't even think he completely understood his powers at that age, but he had me hooked from day one. I was so stuck on this nigga that I didn't mind sharing him with other women. Yes, he had a girlfriend from 1997 until 1999 but that bitch could never in her life be me. Yes, at the ripe young age of 12 I realized that I was different, special, unique...and I carried myself as such.

As you can imagine this did make way for making a lot of friends, as I "thought I was all that". But, I didn't too much care about that either. Those who took the time to get to really know me knew that I was very "down to Earth", loving and nurturing. Often my friends were the outcasts, the weird group. Every time I tried to assimilate with the "in crowd" it ended up being drama...which I already had my fair share of being the "side piece" to the star basketball player for our high school. The boys thought I was easy, the girls thought I was a hoe. I was just, ME.

Through out most of college I laid low with my long-term boyfriend. I will say that it was in college that I truly realized just how powerful my yoni is. Any nigga I fucked was hooked. Even after relationships ended they always tried to come back for the sex. My College Sweetheart STILL tries to fuck, and its been over 13 years since we broke up. I also realized my attraction to female energy. I had my first threesome with my female best-friend and my High School Sweetheart my sophomore year of college. Watching her with him...Watching them together...it opened up an entirely different realm of sexuality for me. She and I explored so much together in college. No, I never had sex with her, but we were comfortable enough to have sex with our respective partners around each other. We dated brothers for a while and that was a really fun time. We would share and swap brothers whenever the mood struck.

3D thinking and fear kept me from acting on my new found attraction to women for a very long time. I was sexually open, but I was still operating under the fear of labels and how my family would think about me. See it was ok to be a hoe because my mama told me I needed to use these niggas to get what I want. But, it was NOT ok to be gay. Although my hair stylist and some of my mom's closest male friends were openly so.

I stuck to playing small even when, in 2005, I found a partner who embraced my openness. I could have done or tried anything, but I was fixated on making him my husband; therefore, I had to play the "good girl" role. I did that for 3 years and ended it when I realized that we were never going to be the couple that I needed. He is an amazing person, and a very good friend still, but I needed more than he was able to offer me. I needed to be, ME.

In 2008, I met my first Dominant, and I was introduced to the BDSM lifestyle. I was offered the freedom to be my true sexual self. I was also allow to experience what it was like to truly submit to someone. Although the hurt and trauma I experienced during this relationship took a while to get over, I don't regret it at all. I NEEDED this. I needed to experience what it was like to truly connect with someone on a soul level. I needed to consciously experience energy exchange. This what when I started waking up. I actually started to realize what happened to two people during sexual intercourse and realized that sex was so much more than just orgasms. This was my introduction to the spirituality and sacredness of sex. This was also the release of my shadow self. She had been peaking through here and there throughout college, but she was now finally free to roam.

Setting my shadow self free began my "hoe phase" after my relationship ended. I spent 4 years just being sexually free and not giving a fuck. But I also spent those 4 years searching for that spiritual connection that I had with my first Dom. My 2nd Dom came along in 2010 and it was a completely different experience from my first. I reverted back to that "I need a husband" line of thinking and I had determined that He in fact was my husband. I wasn't as free as I was with my first Dom. I let my ego limit my thinking once again because I felt like I had to be a certain way in order to get him to marry me and the he could not know about this wild sexual being that was inside of me. What's absolutely hilarious about this is he is now one of my closest friends and he completely embraces that wild sexual spirit that I possess. He encourages me and I can talk to him about any and everything. He has never judged me about anything, and I am truly grateful to have him in my life.

While my 2nd Dom is an amazing ass person and completely accepting of me, we never had a soul connection. I have dated and fucked other people and came back to him and I realized that we just don't have that type connection and I'm ok with that. Everyone on your journey is not meant to be the ONE or close to the ONE. It took me a while to figure that out. Before I burned them all, I could go back and look at old journals and prayers and see when I was praying to God for this man to be the ONE and for that man to be the ONE, but I was never doing the work that I needed to do for the ONE to come along. I was just out here hopelessly desperate for a husband and a family. And then came devastation.

I've never cared about being the side chick, the other chick, the fuck buddy, or any of those things. All I've ever asked from a partner is to be honest and up front with me so that I am allowed to make decisions for myself as to what I'm willing to deal with. Well, along came a dishonest person who was so afraid of losing me and losing the other woman that he lost us both. I could see that his relationship with her was not going to work out, but I never said anything to him because 1) I didn't want him to think I was saying it just to be with him and 2) I didn't know how to tell him I was gifted. So, I made the common mistake of thinking that I could love him enough to see what a good woman I was. I gave him all of my heart. I poured so much motherly, nurturing love into that man and he crushed me. At the end of our relationship I had a mental and spiritual breakdown. I suffered from anxiety, depression, and PTSD because of the trauma I experienced from dealing with him.

Once I got over being annihilated, and put my poor heart back together I decided to step back into BDSM. I no longer wanted to deal with someone on the vanilla level because I felt like they could't handle me and they couldn't understand me. At least in BDSM I would have a Dominant to protect me and protect my heart. I could submit and connect on a soul level. I had once again given up on this idea of marriage and a husband. I needed more...I needed deeper, and BDSM was where I believed that I could find that. So, I went out and found a new Dominant and this time the most beautiful thing in my life occurred...my transformation.

Spiritual Aspect of BDSM 102

In my last post I kinda touched the tip of the iceberg about BDSM and how it relates to spirituality. It was a very much in the moment post. It started with a twitter conversation that I felt that I needed to get more in depth about. The responses to that post truly humbled me. It also showed me that there is a need for this type of information to be shared. I also did a poll on twitter and it seems like some of the people who read Spiritual Aspects of BDSM 101 would be interested in me doing a series on the topic of Sacred Spirituality and the use of energy in sex. So that is something that I'm going to work on putting together and having available on my website. I will probably do some blended learning which means there will be written as well as video content. I will definitely offer a private question and answer session, and I will consider doing a group chat of sorts if I see that people are comfortable with that sort of thing. Please know you can always come to me with any questions that you may have about the topic (or anything in general). I am very open about my life and I am here as a resource. You can DM me on twitter: @tresmoongoddess. You can email me at kitchenwitch216@gmail.com or you can send me a google hangouts message using the same email address.

Just to give you a little background information on me. I have been a submissive for almost 9 years now. I have had 4 Dominants and numerous play partners. I have been polyamorous probably since I've started dating in the 7th grade, and I came out as bisexual 3 years ago, although I've know that I was attracted to both men and women for over 15 years. I have known my current Dominant for a couple of lifetimes. He is my twin flame and we have a very endearing story. In this lifetime I have known Him a little over a year and we function in an open relationship. In a previous lifetime we were married. We are super connected and I am happy that we have made our way back to each other yet again.

So lets dig a little deeper into the subject of Spirituality and BDSM.....

SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF BDSM 102

Hopefully my previous post helped you to understand the general relatedness between BDSM and Spirituality. In this post I want to go a little bit further and talk about how this spirituality or energy actually works in a relationship dynamic.

When you look at a relationship from the BDSM lens you generally have a Dominant and a submissive or D/s. Some relationships may look like Master and slave or M/s. The D/s or M/s is all in how the agreement between the parties are set up. I will say in general, the difference between a submissive and a slave is the amount of control that is given to the Dominant/Master. While submissives can retain some say so in the relationship, slaves relinquish complete control over to their Master. But, before I get into control and energy exchange, I want to talk about the energy that the Dominant and submissive possess.

All energy has a masculine and feminine aspects. However, that does not mean that only males have masculine energy and females have feminine energy.Everyone and everything possesses both, there just may be more of one than the other present. The whole idea of Spirituality is the balance of these energies. When looking at the D/s relationship dynamic, the Dominant possesses the majority of the masculine energy and the submissive possesses the majority of the feminine energy. The joining of the Dominant and the submissive then creates a balance of masculine and feminine energy and a space where that energy can flow between the two, this is the energy exchange that occurs in the relationship. 

I want to take a minute before I move forward to reiterate that masculine and feminine does not equal male and female! When looking at energies one has to remove physical body parts. A male can have predominately feminine energy and a female can have predominantly masculine energy. This can be seen when looking at a person's sexual preference as well as sexual identity. A woman may choose to be butch or sexually identify as male and be attracted to other women because she possesses more masculine energy. A woman may also still identify as a woman and be attracted to other women because she is attracted to the feminine energy that other women possess. I will use myself as an example. I am bisexual (probably more pansexual) meaning that I am attracted to both masculine and feminine energies. I sexually identify as a woman possessing feminine energy; however, I love to exchange feminine energy just as much as I love to exchange masculine energy.

The energy exchange that occurs at the relationship level is different from the energy exchange that happens at the play partner or sexual level of BDSM. I think of sexual energy as pure and raw. It can either be light or dark, masculine or feminine. But, that exchange is intermittent, it happens in that moment only. Energy exchange on a relationship level is a continual exchange.

Lets start with the submissive or feminine energy in a dynamic. Don't think of a submissive as meek, docile, or someone you can run over. THAT IS NOT HOW THIS SHIT GOES! It takes a VERY strong person to submit to someone else, and there is a decades long debate about who actually holds the power in a D/s dynamic. Many would say that its actually the submissive that does, as (s)he is required to release that power/control for the Dominant to even have it. The feminine energy that a submissive possesses is very motherly and nurturing. A good submissive desires to please her Dominant and actually gets pleasure from doing such, just as feminine energy takes pleasure in nurturing others. Note that pleasing a Dominant is not always sexual. It can be anything from completing assigned tasks to domestic services. As a submissive I view it as my job to ensure that ALL of my Dominants needs are taken care of.

The Dominant or masculine energy in the dynamic is very fatherly or protective. (S)He ensures that the submissive is safe and secure. The Dominant provides the submissive with a space where (s)he can be his/herself completely. (S)He also ensures that the submissive's needs are taken care of. (S)He often makes sure that the submissive is taking care of his/herself, as sometimes we neglect these things in our caring for others. The Dominant takes the control/power/energy released by the submissive and uses it for the greatest good of the union. (S)He protects this energy, and does not abuse it.

In a D/s dynamic (relationship) this exchange of feminine and masculine energy is cyclical. There is a constant exchange of masculine and feminine energy between the parties. YES, this means at times the Dominant will be in a submissive position and vice versa. A real Dominant will have no problems being vulnerable and in a submissive place with His/Her sub(s). This dynamic is ALL about vulnerability and trust. You have to be able to bare your soul to your partner(s) and be able to trust that they have your greatest good at heart in order for this type of dynamic to work. You have to be open to give and receive energy both masculine and feminine, light and dark. This is how the balance is created. The flow of the energy between the parties happens so that there is always balance and alignment.

So how is this different from a vanilla (regular) relationship? D/s (M/s) relationships help to remove a lot of the 3D (worldly dimension) stereotypes, beliefs, mindsets, etc. of what a relationship is or should look like. It does not follow society's rules. In fact one of the major tenets of a D/s relationship is all the parties involved work together to create the rules that best serve the union. Most people who have been in a D/s relationship will tell you that it is deeper than a vanilla relationship. There is more vulnerability and trust. There is more openness simply because you don't have the judgment of society pressuring you to be a certain way.

I look at it in levels. A vanilla relationship is on the bottom level. A D/s dynamic (relationship) is the middle level. A twin flame relationship is the top level. My D/s relationships really helped to prepare me for my twin flame. In my next post I will talk about this process. How I ascended from vanilla to twin flame and my transformation along the way.

Spiritual Aspects of BDSM 101

I want to take this moment to think @DaddyShiva for inspiring this piece. The Spirits have been telling me to write all week and I finally know what it is that I'm to write about. Thanks for the motivation.

I know its been a minute since I've posted, and my life has made a COMPLETE transformation since the last time I made a post, but who I am at my core is still the same. I'm a polyamorous, pansexual, submissive, masochistic, whore, African American, witch, Goddess! And on my journey to discovering me I've learned a lot of things. I started this blog originally to talk about my journey in BDSM with my partner at the time, but I feel like I've come to a place where this blog should be more about educating others on what BDSM really is. I can tell you right now its NOT "Fifty Shades of Grey" and its not all kinky sex.

BDSM is an entire world of its own. Its a lifestyle that has so many different subcategories that it can be challenging to explain and comprehend. I want to preface this by saying that I am (and will) only speaking on aspects of this lifestyle that I know about. There are already WAY too many people out here talking about shit that they don't know about just to hear themselves talk.

Welcome to the Spiritual Side of BDSM!!!

BDSM for me is more that just the kink or sexual aspect of it. It is a relationship, a bond, a connection, an exchange of energy between two (or more people if you're into that). But, before I dive into the relational aspect of BDSM I do want to talk about the sex....

Sex is a spiritual experience. I'm going to say that again. SEX. IS. A. SPIRITUAL. EXPERIENCE! Sex is the joining together of two (or more) souls. It is the exchange of energy between those souls. Sex is such a powerful spiritual tool that can and should be used as the powerful ritualistic experience that it is. It can be giving, cleansing, healing, renewing, empowering, and on the other side it can be crushing, breaking, binding, soul sucking. Sex encompasses both the light and the dark side of energy. It is so much more than the work done to achieve an orgasm. But the mere fact that sex is an exchange of energy makes it spiritual, as spirituality is all about energy and connecting to the Divine Energy Source. 

So we got that sex is spiritual, and we know that BDSM can include sex (at least for me it does); therefore BDSM is also a spiritual experience. And yes I just did the whole If A = B and A = C then B = C thing from math, but its more complex than that. For me and for a lot of people I know, BDSM was a way to embrace the Shadow or dark side. BDSM is know for being dark and deviant...kinky. Its those sexual acts that are shunned by mainstream society and religions. But for me it was a way for me to channel my Shadow self. It was how I let her come out to play, how I expressed those dark sides of me. 

I am a masochist (meaning I like to receive pain) and I am also a highly intuitive empath (meaning I can feel/absorb other people's energy). My intuitive empathic abilities are my Light and my masochism is my Dark. In a session, my Dominant/Sadist is able to transfer his energy to me through inflicting pain on my physical body. As a submissive/masochist, I not only receive that energy, but I release energy of my own that is sent back to my Dom just by allowing myself to be used by him. In addition to receiving and releasing energy, I convert the energy that I receive from Him. The entire session is just a big cycle of continuous energy transfer. Sometimes that energy transfer is my Dom releasing dark energy from me, and replacing it with light energy from Him. Sometimes its me releasing dark energy from Him and giving Him my light energy.  Other times we may choose to only cycle all dark or all light energy. It just depends on the needs of our energy.

Another spiritual aspect of BDSM is ascension or what most would call Dom/sub space, that high that you feel during or right after a session. That euphoria isn't just in your head. The energy that is exchanged between partner(s) actually allows for the spiritual body to leave the physical body and ascend to a higher dimension. What I love about sub space is that it can last for days or weeks at a time. Also, once you and your partner(s) have developed a really strong bond, you can help each other achieve Dom/sub space without having physical contact. The down side to this is Dom/sub drop or when your spiritual body returns to your physical body after being in Dom/sub space. This is why aftercare is heavily preached in the BDSM community because that return isn't always easy on the physical body. Your spirit is coming back with a lot more energy than it previously had and the physical body has to adjust. 

I feel like right here is a good place to stop. Like I mentioned earlier, this topic has several layers to it. In my next post I want to get more into the relationship aspects of BDSM and the balance of the male and female energies. I will also talk more about the love and trust aspects and again how this all ties into spirituality. 

Updates

2015 is finally starting to look up, for me at least. The beginning was rough, very rough. But things are starting to look better. Daddy and I are in a very good place in spite of all that He is going through right now. He is opening up to me more and our relationship is getting stronger. We talked to my girlfriend about her being Daddy's sub and my sub sister, but her and her boyfriend are going through some things so we had to put that on hold. I really hope that its something that can come to fruition because I want her to have the experience of being a sub and to get the training and nurturing that she needs in order to be the best sub that she can be. Also, I want Daddy to have the experience of having two subs, and I want the experience of having a sub sister to really test and push the limits of us being poly. 

In addition to all of that, Daddy let me go to my first BDSM/swingers party. It was so much fun and I'm glad that I got that experience. I was able to meet some amazing people in the lifestyle who will be able to share lots of information with me. I got to watch both a Dom and a Domina in action with different people. I got to see all different types of play take place. I got invited to all different types of events that are occurring in the future, and that let me know that the people who I were around liked me and accepted me. They are a great group of people, and I am happy that I made some new friends within the lifestyle. What really made me happy was that the Domina was impressed by my behavior during the party and told me that I did my Daddy proud. It feels good to know that I am a good representation of His training and discipline. 

At the party I also got to play, and when I told Daddy about it he was very proud of me for opening up and trying new things. It really means something to me to have someone in my corner who is allowing me to open up and explore sexually. To know that He is not going to judge me nor hold thing that I want to try against me, but encourage me to do those things and to have fun. To  know that I am not going to lose Him because I want to try different things with different people. That helped to erase a lot of fear that I had about trying things that I want to try. It erased a lot of the fear that I had about my relationship with Dadddy period. My next goal is to get Daddy to start coming to these parties and events with me. I think that it will benefit Him and us to have other people in the lifestyle that He can talk to and learn from as well. He always asks how do Doms get the training and support that they need, and I feel that this particular group of people would be a great place to start.

And Then There Were Three

So....I FINALLY  have a girlfriend! I get all warm and fuzzy everytime I think about it. Its been a long time coming, but I have been dilligent and patient in my search. I'm happy that I waited too because I really think that I made the best decision for me and for Daddy. I've known her for almost 10 years. I've always had a girl crush on her but I've never really said anything to her. I would flirt with her own an off but it was really innocent. We lost contact with each other for a couple of years and found each other again on twitter. It was great catching up with her and reliving all of the fun we used to have back in the day. I first approached her to have a threesome with Daddy and I. Its something that he's been wanting to do for a while and I really wanted to make it happen for him. I had originally been looking for a female partner to join in and not really looking for a girlfriend for myself. When I linked back up with my #her I realized that she would be perfect. When I talked to her about it she was completely down to join lol. She's both bisexual and poly like myself. She currently is in another relationship with a guy who knows and supports her being poly.

In talking with her and Daddy about this threesome I really started to fall for her. Reading her tweets and blog posts only heightened my feelings. Did I mention that she is FAHN?!?!? When I was going through a rough patch with Daddy it was easy for me to talk to her and she understood where I was coming from and what I was feeling. She also gave me some great advice on how to deal with what I was going through. She is experienced in ways that I am not, and Daddy and I hope to learn a lot from her as well as to teach her a lot that she would like to learn from us and our dynamic. Daddy really likes her too (which is a big plus). When I mentioned jokingly about making her my girlfriend he was all for it and encouraged it. His support really meant a lot to me. I don't think that I would have entered into a relationship with her without it.

So, I haven't really come out to many people about being bi or poly. I've only told one close friend about #her, and she was immedietly jealous because she has/had a crush on me. She was actually my first choice for the threesome, but she was scared because she's never been with a woman. My friend was actually kinda upset with me when I told her becauase she felt like I should have waited on her. I feel like I made the best decision for me though, and I'm happy with it. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the three of us. Who know she may even become my sub sister. 

Love, Relationships, and Daddy

"Love doesn't have to be complicated." ~@RoofEOoh

He is absolutely right! Love does not have to be complicated. In fact it shouldn't be! Love should be the easiest and most freeing thing you experience in your life. At least that's how I feel about my Daddy. Loving Him has been the easiest thing that I've ever done. It just comes so natural. It isn't forced. Its as simple as breathing. Loving Him also set me free. It allowed me to be myself. It allowed me to love someone deserving of the type of love that I give. I no longer had to put restrictions on my love. 

"Relationships are hard work. IDK any "happy" couple that ain't working everyday to make sure they stay happy." ~@Smooth_Orator

He too is also right. Relationships do require work. Love should be easy, but relationships aren't always such, especially D/s relationships. When you're with the right person they are going to push you to be a better person, to do better, to give them your best. This requires work, and for me hard work to get my shit together. I appreciate my Daddy because He makes me want to give him my best, to be the best sub that I can possibly be for Him. Being with Him makes the work worth it, even when its not easy. His happiness is important to me, our happiness is important to me. As a submissive it is my natural instinct to serve. Whatever I do, I want it to be pleasing to my Daddy, and I want it to make Him happy. As His submissive that would make me happy, so I am willing to do the necessary work required for both of our happiness.

"A Daddy would never ask His little to put Him before her career, or family just to satisfy their own pleasure, yet will encourage independence in growth." ~from The Daddy-Dominant's Creed

 Surprisingly though, the only work my Daddy requires is for me to work on myself. My Daddy wants me to be better and to do better, but He wants me to do those things for me and for my family. I struggled with this for a while because I thought that He was trying to push me away or exclude Himself from my life. But in all reality He was just being the great Daddy that He is. He wasn't saying that He was abandoning me, but He was encouraging me to work on me for me. He was encouraging and supporting, my growth. He knew that by focusing on myself and bettering myself for me that ultimately I would be better for Him. That doing it for me would have a wider and longer-lasting effect than just doing it for Him. I love that my Daddy encourages and demands individuality. He doesn't want me to be so caught up in Him that I lose myself. He doesn't want me to change who I am for Him, but He encourages and supports my growth as a person so that I can be my authentic me. My Daddy freed me so that I could be me, and in turn submit my free self to Him. That is all that He's ever wanted, all that He's ever asked for...for me to be completely myself with Him. 

I am completely and irrevocably in love with my Daddy. That love makes even the most difficult times in our relationship worth it. His form of Dominance, while not what I expected or imagined, is exactly everything that  EYE  want and need in my life. Which leaves me with this last quote...

"If Daddy is everything you want and need, you should be the same to Him. THAT'S compromising." ~@SadisticThorn